Interviewed by Mae Hunt
In Part Two of Wonk’s interview, we talk about her experience releasing an album in the midst of a pandemic and her new life living and working at a yoga studio in Ecuador. Wonk shares some insight into how she chooses to see the positivity in the midst of difficult times. It’s a deep conversation and emphasizes how she isn’t afraid to dance to the beat of her own drum!
WT: Wonky Tonk TL: Twangrila
TL: So the album was released in April, which was right in the midst of the pandemic. That must have been quite an interesting time to release an album.
WT: It was. And you know, I pitched it in a mystical way, of these numbers that just felt right. So, it was April 24th, and all these round numbers, I think they’re feminine and creative to me. And I was in Ecuador. I was supposed to come home. I had a tour lined up, so big, with the biggest people, Charlie Parr, and the now-deceased Justin Townes Earl. I had Wonky Tonk beers being released and distributed on two different occasions, and CD release parties, and all that stuff.
And then, my plane got canceled, COVID happened. I think it’s interesting with this record, because it fought to be alive, and I fought for it to be alive, and everyone in my life who loved the songs so much, even when I wanted to give up, they would keep it alive. And so, it felt a little bit like, it’s okay that it’s coming in COVID. I surrendered to ego and said: “You know what? We worked to give these songs the best life, and they’re going to live a really long life. It’s okay if they don’t take the world by storm and then are forgotten.”
I feel like it’s a long con or a slow burn, instead.
TL: Absolutely. In the midst of quarantine, I know many people felt isolated and down. In a way, the album came at the perfect time for many.
WT: Thank you. You’re such a great listener. (laughter) Thank you for understanding. You have no idea.
TL: I think the same of you, so I appreciate it! How about quarantine? I know you’ve been in Ecuador for nine months now. How have you coped with the cancellation of your tour and being stuck in Ecuador?
WT: A multifaceted, beautiful question. Right before I left for Ecuador, I had created with my friend, Rich. We made a music video for “Wonk On” that explores the five stages of grief. And in that, I embody every stage, which was a very strange experience. COVID has created this thing that has made everything that used to work not work, including our coping mechanisms.
So, after this, I go through the grief, and go through all of the stages, the depression, the anger, all of it. I’ve got that music video that’s now floating around, under the radar, which is fine because I truly believe it’ll reach who it needs to reach in these moments. And now I’m in Ecuador. It’s called Shamanic Arts in Tantra Yoga School. I googled the word and I bought a ticket and I showed up, not even knowing that Ecuador was at the equator.
I’m on a mountain and there’s someone here who is a guitar and instrument donor. He has allowed me to borrow this beautiful, handmade guitar for the last nine months. I’ve just been creating and putting a lot of energy into Patreon. Really, really taking music and Wonking it up in a really big, creative way because I truly believe that music and creation is how you heal. How you remember your heart and how you remember yourself.
I’m getting more intimate with music as it is meant to be rather than getting swept up in all of the business-y stuff that really sort of ruins my heart (laughter). That’s why I’m here in Ecuador, remembering my heart. And Ecuador’s great.
Four of my planes going home have been canceled, so I’ve just been here. We make all kinds of mantra videos – yesterday I even posted it. We did a goddess mantra for Shakti, this feminine energy. And then, it was like, “Oh, it’s the full moon. That should be the harvest moon. Let me do a cover of Neil Young ‘Harvest Moon.’” And so, to have these Shakti tantric mantras and then Neil Young next to each other (laughter). That’s a good summary.
TL: Thank you for sharing that. It honestly sounds like a brave decision to go down to Ecuador in the first place. I’m so glad to hear that you’re having such a healing experience and you’re able to get in touch with music in a way that you may not have been able to, had this not happened.
WT: Exactly. It’s beautiful. It’s because I choose it, you know? I couldn’t choose my record, all of that I’ve paid for and fought for, got released and no one cares because it’s COVID, and then my tour. I always say, “How do I turn the shit into gold?” and without being delusional. I could be caught up on—I mean, I see pictures of the Facebook Memories and I’m like, “Oh, live music. Oh, the road. Oh, I miss all of this.”
But at the same time, it’s just taking this open space and figuring out something new to do with it.
TL: Absolutely. And you make it sound so easy, but it is an intentional decision to be able to see the bright side of that situation. I’m curious as to, what is it inside of you that allows you to make those intentional decisions and to not get hung up on the turmoil the pandemic has caused?
WT: (laughter) I can’t believe you’re 24 years old, well-spoken, and beautiful. Just everything.
TL: You’re so nice.
WT: (laughter) You’re awesome. Part of the reason I came to Ecuador was that—I have this app called “Active,” and it’s just a joke of a physical activity sort of thing. It’s what’s got me into yoga. It’s this guy that’s going, “You have survived everything up until now.” And truly, to give yourselves compassion for that, but I have gone through some—you know, everyone has those things in their life, but it was pretty tumultuous.
And especially in the last three years, I had cervical cancer, and a brush with death engaged to a very scary, dangerous person that I didn’t know was any of that. So, coming out, I am now cancer free.
TL: Congratulations. That’s amazing.
WT: Thank you. It is amazing. I think it took that cancer, and it took this person to really rock my world. I feel like those two moments were really a smack in the face and I started listening. I know I’m this sparkles and love, but it’s not this, “Choose love and light, love is so good,” it’s that love is the hardest thing, like our exploring and our love for ourselves. And so, I had to take responsibility for, “Wow, how did I get in these situations? Because I chose them. Yes, people were bad, but I chose to be here whether I knew it or not.”
And so, I needed to learn how to love myself and to trust myself and others, because this trauma had really rocked everything.
TL: I’m trying to soak it in, because one of my last questions was just going to be, I know the Wonky Tonk movement is one of love. I wanted to ask what inspired that movement, but I feel like you just answered that. It sounds really like it wasn’t inspired by something external, but it was inspired within yourself. The idea that it’s a movement of self-love is something so powerful.
WT: Amen. Yes, I think just in summation of putting those two things together, that what I’m learning is that we all have a pilot light inside of ourselves, and it just needs an ignition. I think for a lot of my life, I tried to be other people’s light, being their love, being their heart for themselves, trying to save them when they wouldn’t save themselves, and that beat me down. Now, I’m learning here, and within myself, that I am supposed to take care of my own light so I can be light in someone’s lantern on their path to remember theirs.
I know that sounds all woo, but that’s that self-love. I can’t shine bright and illuminate the darkness for someone else to find their own way if my lantern is just dwindled.
Something bad happens or something great happens. It all comes through me and I have to play guitar. I always played instruments when I was sad, and it needed to be this coping instead of a release. Now, when I’m sitting here playing things, they start in the darkness and then they turn it into this beautiful light. I just wrote a song about, “What do I do with all this pain?” I went down to lay down the guitar and I felt that I had created the darkness around me.
I picked it up, put it back in my lap and an entire different song came out, and it was, “What do I do with this?” I feel it and I let it go in this beautiful way that’s not trite at all or contrived. I think that’s what it is, that listening, the self-love is listening to that intuition that we forget about. I could have put that guitar down and been like, “No, F it. I’m in a bad mood and I’m in this painful mood. All my friends are dying. Everyone’s sick,” this and that.
Instead, it was something in me, just this little, tiny voice said, “No, try one more time. That’s not what we were trying to say.” And then, it came out in this beautiful strength. To listen to ourselves is the biggest love. And that’s what Wonky Tonk is, and what it continues to be in this musical world.
TL: Absolutely.
WT: That’s why I love my Patreon because it’s a space to reinvent what Wonky Tonk is. Not even reinvent, but reestablish in the world, because music people never got it. Again, that’s self-love, trusting ourselves, to just imagine and play and listen and create and dance and sing and cry and scream. (laughter)
TL: It really does sound like there’s a little bit of magic happening in your movement and in your music-making process. I can tell that the process of creating music for you does serve as an outlet. I can assure you that your songs serve as an outlet for many people, including myself. I’m so grateful for everything that you are, and everything that you create and how you are so free-spirited and such an individual in a world that sometimes doesn’t necessarily reward that kind of individualism.
WT: Yes, girl. (laughter)
TL: (laughter) So, thank you is what I’m trying to get at. Thank you. I appreciate it.
WT: And thank you, because it really is, it takes one to know one. I know that’s such a phrase, but a lot of people, it takes somebody to be—if it’s not already in your language, you can’t hear what I’m trying to say or what I’m moving through, and you are there, girl. You are a match. I am so grateful that you even just exist, let alone that we get to talk.
TL: (laughter) I feel the same. I feel the very same, so thank you. It’s been such a pleasure. I’m going to close off with the questions and stop the recording, and then we can sign off after that. Thank you so much.